If this one doesn't offend you, you might be worth knowing.

To the ever witty and handsome Doctor Sunday,

Have recently been pondering life. Love, pain, existence, etc. Included in this waxing, and the one I wish to speak on, is the biggest perplexity of all..

Why is everyone a moron?

It seems that quite recently I have been surrounded by more stupidity than deemed necessary. As I have never been naive in the least, I have always had my suspicions of half the general population being sadly afflicted with being an idiot. It has just been growing in numbers more so than usual lately.
To elaborate: Why does my roommate have the time to get weeded/eat all of my food/whine about women daily, but cannot spare twenty seconds to wash a fork?
Why is an ex m.i.a. until they need an outlet to bitch or rant to, i.e., you?
Why does that drunk girl you don't know at The Tavern feel the need to let you know exactly how long she's gone without sexy time (and how horny she is) whilst spilling your beer and attempting bedroom eyes at all your friends?
And then there's even the non-personal. Why is gay marriage illegal?
Why does the creditreport.com guy continue to be allowed commercial time? I could go on for days here.

Is this just a part of human nature that I will eventually have to accept and live with? Is it because Pluto is in retrograde? Am I just unmoving, unfeeling, unkind? (bonus points for alliteration) I would surely hope not as I'm a humanist first and foremost. Please share your thoughts on my, and the world's, dilemma.

xo,
Pissed off Smarty Pants.

Dearest Pissed off Smarty Pants,

This is indeed a tough and challenging question. Why are there so many morons? Can we blame it on modern diet, or perhaps the influx of new avenues of vicarious entertainment that serve to dilute creativity, stunt motivation, and cripple intellect? Is it a sign of some pending apocalypse not predicted in any ancient text or entheogen-addled shaman dreams? Does the Matrix need more RAM or to switch to Linux? All valid questions.

We could point the finger in many directions. While I'm only half-joking when I say that the "information age" serves to leave people more "educated" while growing less intelligent, the truth is, people really do pay too much attention to things that aren't worth it. Take the continued existence of American Idol. Anyone with even just a single pair of neurons that spark even periodically should find that sort of thing to be a slap in the face; particularly anyone who values art enough to NOT wish it to be so BLATANTLY commoditized. Now, I could sit here and insult even some of my close friends by calling them stupid for watching it, but I'd rather not, because some of them are people I see often enough to make social exchanges awkward were I to make that choice.

So looking at the results, we wonder: is there a causal relationship between the modern media and stupidity? Do we support moronic things because we're stupid, or does our stupidity result in a market for stupid things? It's a vicious cycle.

The point is, and I'll be shockingly Nietzschean for a moment, by saying that morons are out there to make the non-morons shine. Think about it. Evolution has created a number of wonders and traits (seriously, click that link; it's awesome, right?), all while leaving others far, far behind. The favorable features provide mating advantages, and social evolution often adopts innovation. Now, the scary thing here, is that natural selection appears to be leading us in the wrong direction, as the proliferation of idiocy is reaching a more critical stage, when the opposite SHOULD be true. We're getting educations, we're travelling more widely, we've got access to so many things beyond the dreams of previous generations-- so why is it that we're consistently producing underachieving, uninspired hacks who consume foolishly, travel seemingly only to prove that a fool in Chicago is a fool in Paris, and allow atrocities such as this to be inflicted upon the general public.

Why? Isn't it obvious? Clearly, we've reached a plateau, and in some metaphysical sense, evolution/God/the Universe is saying "ok, seriously? all this time and the best you can do is this?" This is why we have so many legends, myths, and tales of a Great Deluge. It's an archetype that plugs directly into the forward-thinking psyche of Human Development. We know that the day will come, when rather than "wickedness," "ungodliness" and "immorality," we are damned by "stupidity," "douchebags," and "80's retro."

It's all our own fault, though. In the last few decades, more so than ever, and worse still today, we're raising a society of people who are born and raised without ever having to actually try; people who are fed entitlement and inflated senses of self-worth, who are coddled through situations where character should have been built. LET THE CHILDREN FAIL. IT IS THE ONLY WAY THAT THEY WILL EVER REALLY LEARN. YOUR ILLITERATE, BELLIGERENT, LOUD-MOUTHED BEDWETTER IS NOT SPECIAL-- THAT HAS TO BE EARNED.

Would that I knew the proper spell to incant, to make this all go away-- give our pesky species the chance to install upgrades and restart. Sadly, such is not the case, so these are facts and facets with which you and I must continue to cope. And as logic will dictate, when the facts of a situation are immutable, one must address reality by altering perception and/or altering reaction. For example, to address your sub-questions: your roomie puffs, dines, and whines so much because if he shut up, he'd have to find something else to do, and washing up seems distasteful: in other words, stupid, lazy, and it sucks--keep your food where it cannot be taken, roll your eyes at the whining, and wash only your own dishes. And ex's who only come around when they want something are selfish and stupid enough to believe that you don't have anything better to do than make yourself available to them--be stronger than that, and you can always hang up the phone, hit the "invisible" button in chat, or be clever with excuses. Remember, lying to a moron doesn't count as dishonesty-- so go for it, with my blessing.

The drunk bar slut behaves thus because she is slave to her appetites and impulses, thereby little to differ from the animals at the zoo. I'd recommend throwing peanuts at her and taking her picture until she either starts flinging feces or hides behind a tree. It's 2009, drunk bar slut-- getting laid is easy, and you don't have to play games or reek of desperation while embarassing yourself and everyone who knows you. Put on some underwear and close your fucking mouth-- if you weren't so pathetic, maybe you wouldn't HAVE to whine about "how long it's been."

Gay marriage is illegal because there are too many ignorant idiots holding onto outmoded morality, who want to hold onto their places in the rising divorce rates. Don't worry, we'll have gay marriage before we have legal pot--and both of those are coming down the line, doubt it not.

And the creditreportdotcom guy is still on the air because we are being punished for all of our sins, and for allowing the continued existence of Coldplay.

As for the last part of your message, do not blame yourself-- you are certainly not "unmoving, unfeeling, unkind." You're merely aware and quite realistic, and if the weight of the world makes you a little bit bitter sometimes, it is to be understood. You can be a humanist and still find your heart a bit sour on the thought of your fellow humans, sometimes.

My advice to you is simple. Do what I do: surround yourself with intelligent, charming and attractive people; chances are, you already know some-- seek their company. You can meet new people through those you know already, and that's fantastic, because you can pick and choose. Invite yourself out, invite others in. Participate in activities geared towards your interests, and make friends-- take a class, get up and go out, be creative and use good judgement. Be choosy with those you allow to become close to you. Initiate creative correspondences-- collaborate. Be smart and never, ever, EVER settle for anything less than what will really keep you happy and stimulated. Ignore what you can of the unwashed masses, and learn to laugh at what you can't ignore-- the more you learn to laugh, the easier it is to keep that shadow right out of your heart, and moreso, there is POWER in mockery. Keep your wits sharp and don't drag yourself down unnecessarily. A nice sense of superiority helps, too, but you'll get that anyway.

Your recognition of the problem tells me that you're going to be JUST fine. I hope this has helped you, and if you need anything else, you know where to find me.

Always listening,
Dr. Sunday

Let's talk about sex.

Dear Dr Sunday,
I was wondering if you had any advice for a couple. We've been together for a little more than two years and we don't have sex very much anymore. We still love each other but for some reason we're just not doing it that often- maybe once or twice a month. When we first got together we used to do it like three or four days out of the week at least. Im still very attracted to my boyfriend and hes still very attracted to me, but how can we make things a little more interesting for both of us? I dont want us to stop being interested in each other or to start looking elsewhere. Can you help us pleeeeease?
Frustrated in Fremont

Dear Frustrated,

Using extra vowels in the word "please" is a great way to get my attention, apparently. That was a joke. Never do that again. (also a joke, fyi)

Let me break this down for you as simply as possible. We're going to address this issue on two fronts-- causes and symptoms. This is going to require some work on your part-- but if you really care the way that you claim to, and I have no reason to doubt that you do, then you'll find this a breeze.

Ok. Now, to proceed logically, let me ask you: is something different in your relationship? Has something changed, qualitatively or quantitatively, in the nature of your interactions with your boyfriend, that might impact this? Are you spending less time together, are you spending less time thinking about each other? Is someone taking someone else for granted, is one partner more selfish than the other, have you both begun to drift, etc? Has something HAPPENED? Are both of you in good health? Do you live together, do you see each other often? Are you both honest about your needs and feelings, or your level of commitment to the relationship? How do YOU feel about YOURSELF? How does HE feel about HIMSELF? Etc.

Here's the thing, Frustrated. ANY of the above could factor into a reduction in the affection level. Are you physically affectionate enough OUTSIDE of sex? It's easy, in the first blush of a relationship, to hold hands, touch, be close, be intimate, make your friends nauseous through public displays of affection-- but when you're alone, do you still kiss good night? Do you still say "I love you" every time you meet? Does this love, honestly, to you, mean enough to you that you're willing to give of yourself? And what of him?

Those questions themselves pose suggestions, surely, if they are in fact the problem, but since our correspondence, at the moment, is limited to an email and your response (at least until you write more, I suppose), all I can say is ask yourself all of the above and if you find an issue, address it-- and if you need more advice, by all means, feel free to ask. This advice thing is kind of what I do, right?

Now. How, in the short term, to address the problem? Well, for the sensibilities of my readers, I'll keep this relatively clean, though I do believe my advice will lend itself well to resolution of your immediate sexual concerns, while you choosing to pursue and face any root matters (if any) as listed above, or otherwise, will address the problem at its core. In other words, I can't help you love your man any more than I can help him to love you, though I can probably give you some advice to get you both screwing like you should already be.

Thought one: honesty. If you're both concerned about not having enough sex, then try to figure out why. Sure, it gets less hot if you're scheduling it, but for FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE, make time for each other, with an emphasis on that. Since it's you writing me (and not HIM writing me) I'd suggest that you take the reins here yourself (figuratively OR literally). Are you really that attracted to him? Do you love him? Then SEDUCE the guy. Use your charms and wiles. Talk to him. Ask him about fantasies. Seriously. Sounds corny, but if you suddenly reveal something about your own, he's going to feel a bit comfortable stepping forward to tell you something. See if that's not something you can work with. I can guarantee you, unless he reveals some unforeseen really sick fetish, you're both going to have one HELL of a time with that talk, especially if you really make sure it keeps going well past the initial awkwardness. You'll thank me. Talk about what you both want, and see how long it takes to start seeing some of that come to life.

Thought two: what you already know. You're the one writing me, not him, so maybe he doesn't read this blog (if so, he's probably not worth fucking anyway, but since you love him, I'll assume he's a loyal reader, and pretend I was just joking when I said that). This says clearly that you really want to make this happen, but you're at a loss. You're at the end of your rope, so to speak, and you need more than what you have. So get more. Make this happen yourself. You know this guy. You know him a lot better than I do. Surprise him. Give him what he wants: positions, costumes, location, roleplay, talk, accessories, unrestrained passion--whatever it is that you know he would enjoy. Give him something that's going to leave him wanting more. Send him a message, write him a letter, take a picture (but only if you're sure this is going to last, obviously), or just fucking surprise him when he least expects it. Show up and tell him you need something, get it and then go home. He'll be so blindsided that he'll be forced to take a whole new perspective on who you are-- and if he's really into you, he's going to find himself a lot more willing. And if you're the problem, if you're the one who isn't as willing, then giving yourself time to use what you know of him to plot, plan, and scheme for amazing experiences, you're going to feel like more of a sexual person. You can't be lazy with love. You have to give, you have to show effort, you can't merely expect things to happen in their own time. Those kinds of thoughts are exactly why this kind of thing happens to people.

Being male myself, I can state categorically that if you provide him with something that is a true EXPERIENCE, you're going to give him the kind of gift (memories, desire, satisfaction) that will keep him focused on you-- and at the same time, you're going to find yourself a lot more interested, as you work to make things more interesting. And it won't take much effort in that way to really let love (or at the very least, sex) to engage itself into making things a lot hotter and more interesting than you ever thought possible, or ever could have accomplished alone.

Trust me, I'm a pretend internet Doctor. I'm not going to let you down on this one. If you do as I say, you won't let yourself (or him) down either. I've got plenty more I could tell you, but I'd rather not denote this particular entry as NSFW. Believe in yourself, use your creativity, and if you really want this, the appetite will provide the impetus. Do it! It's on you now. Stop reading (for tonight) and start plotting!

I hope this has helped you.

Always Listening,
Dr. Sunday

Age and betrayal.

Dear Dr. Sunday,

I broke up with my long term, live in boyfriend last year because, among other things, he was carrying on what I believed to be an inappropriate relationship with a high school student who was the little sister of one of our friends. He insisted nothing was going on but now they are in a relationship so I think I was pretty much dead on. He is 26 and she is 18. I find this to be incredibly disgusting despite the techinical legality of the whole thing. My ex is incredibly smart, he graduated top of his class from a very prestigious university, is a two-time national debate champion and just finished a clerkship with a federal judge and is now working for the government in an important position. But, that being the case, how can he be so stupid and date a high school student? Is there something wrong with me that I dated such a creep? Thanks!

Sincerely,

Confused in the City

Dear Confused,

Let me first state that I am sorry to hear what you have been through, particularly with respect to the presumed (and likely) infidelity (emotional or otherwise). Ending a relationship is, more often than not, a very unpleasant and difficult thing, and situations such as these only make it that much harder. I do hope that you've found yourself the better for it.

I'll answer your twofold question in reverse order, because I can, and it seems easier that way. I don't believe that you should blame yourself, or that there is "something wrong" with you for having dated him. He was the one who wronged you, at least during the relationship. Obviously, the things he has done subsequent to the relationship are his own affair, no pun intended. Even if there was in fact "nothing" going on, and he merely considered the young lady a friend, he should have respected AT THE VERY LEAST that it made you uncomfortable. If he were truly committed to the relationship, he would have shown you the courtesy and respect due you by facing and addressing in a productive and unselfish fashion, or removing the situation. Relationships are ALWAYS supposed to be about compromise, which means sacrifices must be made particularly where outside forces (in this case, a high school girl) act as obstacles. The fact that he did NOT, according to your account, make the necessary changes proves at the least he is/was a selfish person who put his own wishes before your own and well ahead of the relationship itself, and also tends to imply that his unwillingness to make such a change in that circumstance might be indicative of actual infidelity, whether physical, emotional, or both. He wasn't willing to let go for a reason-- it isn't hard to imagine what those reasons might have been, particularly given the circumstances now.

As for WHY he would date a high school student? To that, I cannot say with certainty. I have to admit that the age difference between myself and my girlfriend of the last five years is exactly the same-- and a little math will probably make it clear that she was a high school senior when I started dating her, two weeks before my 26th birthday. At the time, we'd not really discussed the age difference (I thought she was older, she thought I was younger, and we met through work), but to be fair, I also was NOT in a relationship with someone else at the time. We simply made a strong emotional connection, one that blossomed into something very real for the two of us, despite the years. For us, it felt natural-- it's not as though I sought after a much younger gal, it just sort of happened that the person I fell in love with was also someone a fair bit younger than me.

With your ex, however, he had to have known. So why, then? Obviously, he wasn't anywhere near as committed as you to the relationship. Maybe he had some sort of unresolved emotional issue inside, where he saw in a much younger girl the chance to recapture some sort of vitality or youth? Or could it be that he felt that the relationship had become stagnant for him, because he'd never really given himself fully to it, and found his wandering eye to be more than he could stand? For some people, the "grass is always greener," which doesn't mean your pasture is any less beautiful-- it just means that despite his obvious intelligence, he may lack a certain level of personal maturity. You can be a very intelligent person and still be an impetuous child, especially when you're a male.

Or, maybe, and I can't know for certain, but maybe-- she's the one for him, and the time was right, and age is, at certain points in one's life, merely another label. Meaning, then, that this is not and never was your fault-- it was just time for things to change, and maybe he's happy now and you'll be happier too. It's difficult to say, but you have to consider all possibilities.

You should not hold any of this against yourself, or feel any less worthy as a result of it. It's hard sometimes not to doubt oneself, particularly when you've been put aside in favor of something else (if this was indeed the problem), but the fault is not in you-- this guy acted like a selfish asshole, or this guy wasn't right for you, or this whole time had come and gone, and now it's time to learn, grow and move on.

Set your sights on the future, and learn from the past.

I hope this has helped you. Be well.

Always Listening,
Dr. Sunday

Shorties, Anonymous, and Facebook: a collection of the brief.

*****Dear Readers-- what you are about to read is a list of random short questions asked of me, whether via anonymous emails (some nice, some fake, some douchey), or comments left on my facebook page. Thought I'd share, because, well, I want to, and this is MY blog. If you don't like it, you're probably not reading this anyway. So enjoy, friends. --The Doctor.*****

#1- Doctor: Itchy head.. Do I have lice? And if so, Will you pick them out? --T.

Dear T: Getting checked for lice is fun and easy-- those popsicle stick things they run through your hair kind of feel good on the scalp.
Lice-picking is a premium service, not included within the Dr. Sunday free project, but I could probably offer you a coupon or something. I'd also advise not wearing the other kids' hats. Love, Dr. Sunday

#2- Doctor Sunday: My question for you is... My boyfriend is turning 28 in August and I have no idea what to do for him. I know I want to do something very creative and adventurous but I'm running low on ideas. Any thoughts??? --M.

Dear M: Might I suggest, firstly, a surprise party, on a date at least one week prior to his birthday? I successfully caught my dear Claudia with a great surprise party by enlisting (without her knowledge) the help of a couple of her friends (whom she didn't know I had contact with; I used facebook and was VERY tricky). A surprise party ON the birthday would be too easily deduced.

Are we discussing a gift, an event, or a combination thereof? In my experience (as in, being a guy), I will tell you that nothing moves me more than an experience I can remember forever, or something I can hold onto and look back on repeatedly, whether it be a poem, a hand-made gift or hand-made card, or simply a letter on clever stationary. I'm the sentimental type, so a keepsake is a lot more meaningful to me than say, that video game I've been dying to play, which I'll play through once and then never again. I don't know if your man falls into that category, but that would certainly make your job easier.

Using your wits, you can guarantee the kind of birthday surprise for your boyfriend that he'll never forget.

Always listening,
Dr. Sunday

#3-- Doctor Sunday- Why are you such a homo? --Goat-Sodomizing Fuckbottle [identity edited by the editor because I fucking CAN]
Dear GSF,
It's 2009, why not? Dr. Sunday just loves people. Plus, you're really cute. Piss off, my dear Goat-Sodomizing Fuckbottle, and if you feel again like speaking to me, at least be funny. Keep reaching for that rainbow! --Dr. Sunday

#4-- Dr. Sunday, Where the hell did my pants go??????!@? --K.
Dear K.,
They are under my bed, in my box of keepsakes, because your love means so much to me that I can't imagine being able to part with them. I regret the necessity of sneaking up behind you with a chloroform soaked rag, just to steal your pants, but to be honest, after the roller coaster/whirlwind madness we shared, I simply didn't believe that you'd be willing to part with even such a simple keepsake.

Or maybe that was a joke. I'd advise looking through your laundry hamper aggressively, or looking under your bed. Normally, when I can't find an article of clothing, it has either been misfiled in my closet/dresser/etc, or buried somehow in my laundry, if not appropriated by my beloved cat as part of his fortress under my bed.
Hope this helps you.
Love,
Dr. Sunday

#5 Dr Sunday-- (*editor's note, spelling in this query has been corrected, and rather extensively at that): what is your problem with BC13? I read your post and you're just running your mouth like an asshole. no one asked you. --the dank knight
Dear "The Dank Knight,"
First off, yes, someone DID ask me. Secondly, you clearly didn't read the post thoroughly enough, but I'd blame that on the apparently severe level of cognitive disability you displayed so memorably across your email. Tell your mother or special needs provider that I told you to "write back when puberty hits, or functional literacy-- whichever comes first." Twat. Sincerely, Dr. Sunday.
PS- the "DANK KNIGHT?" seriously? dude. Wow.

*****And I'll close there. I've got more, but I'll save those for a future date. I'd once again like to remind you to feel free to ASK ME ANYTHING, and thank you, my dear readers, for making this blog such a fun and successful project.
Much love, and always listening,
Dr. Sunday*****

Betrayed

Doctor Sunday:
A very good friend (metaphorically) threw me under the bus today, and I am having trouble letting it go. I don't really want to go into the details, but I'll say that we were involved in a somewhat stressful decision-situation, in which many of the other people involved were overreacting, and I was trying to be reasonable and convince everyone to stop and think before we acted in a reactionary way. This is not an unusual scenario with this group. Usually, I can count on him to be with me and help chill everyone out, but today, instead, he mocked me in front of all of them. (Essentially, "she's bitching and moaning so I guess we'll just have to wait till she stops crying") I already told him that I didn't appreciate this remark, and he sort of apologized, but I am still very bothered. How do I let this go? Much of this is the fact that I am disappointed in him, I expected more and now I feel as though I can't count on him anymore.

Betrayed

Dear Betrayed,
This is a very unpleasant experience indeed. Trust is the most important factor in any relationship, be it platonic, collaborative, romantic, or any combination thereof, and when that trust feels violated, it can be very difficult to regain, let alone to merely forgive/forget. Without knowing the full details of the situation, I can still perhaps suggest a couple of possibilities as to the "why," which may help you to let this go.

The first possible solution would involve, however, Dr. Sunday taking on the role of devil's advocate, so please bear with me and understand that I am in no ways trying to downplay the validity of your feelings. (Furthermore, let me apologize for utilizing both the third and first person in the prior sentence; this is not a habit of mine, but rather a narrative device meant under no circumstances to bely any sort of pretension in my nature above and beyond that which can be expected).

The thought here would be, given that this person has, in the past been a party upon which you could consistently rely in such straits, is it not possible that there are extenuating circumstances that led him to behave in a manner divergent from his norms? Not to excuse his behavior, but rather to explain it as rather the byproduct of something external and not to be taken personally? Either way, he owes you an apology, but consider: perhaps said party had one of those mornings that seems a modern remake of the Book of Job; rises to find that his spacious and reasonable apartment has become flooded from a backup in the plumbing, leading to black water, ankle deep, which has ruined his collection of novels and caused an electrical fire which, among other things, destroyed his computer, suffocated his dog, immolated his Playstation, and caused his alarm clock to fail catastrophically.

Of course I exaggerate, but the point meant to be illustrated here is thus: if a person acts contrary to their nature, or to your expectations of their nature (given past circumstances), is it not reasonable to posit that there may be factors present of which you simply know little, or nothing? The course of action here is plain, if this hypothesis is correct: allow this person time to collect himself, and perhaps inquire, on a friendly level, of his well-being. Unless seriously dire forces are at work, it is entirely reasonable to assume that the individual will realize his mistake and perhaps even offer a well-deserved apology. If this is a friend, you have a right to ask of his well-being, and indeed to push further still, if you deem it necessary or appropriate, wherein you confront him directly and state that you found his attitude and comments inappropriate.

Speaking personally, I find such attitudes to be reprehensible, and borderline misogynist. This may not necessarily be the case, but you have every right to feel as you do, and the important thing to take with you from this (which would also lead into my second suggestion) is that you have a different, and perhaps broader perspective on the way this person deals with situations where stress is a factor.

I was raised to believe that in any circumstance, one treats one's peers with respect, wherever possible; and REacting based on base emotional state (i.e. blowing up at, or ridiculing another because you're "in a shitty mood") is simply inappropriate. In my own personal and professional life, I've striven to avoid such reactive attitudes and actions, but it's far easier said than done.

My second suggestion is the more difficult, but ultimately the more pragmatic; it is simply that knowing now what you know of this person, accept the knowledge for what it is, acknowledge the way it makes you feel, and deal with it in the fashion you deem least destructive. To give you an example, were I in your shoes, I'd wait exactly twenty-four hours, and if an apology or some extenuating circumstance has not come to light, I'd confront this person directly and state my feelings on the matter. I'd take that twenty-four hours to remind myself that nothing in this world is ever certain, and that the nature of trust is that it is tenuous-- this is both its beauty and its curse. Trust is a soap bubble from a plastic wand; beautiful as it floats, iridescent as the light strikes, a thing of magic for the entirety of its existence-- but to carry the metaphor further, bubbles eventually pop, at one point or another, and you can always blow another, I suppose. The conceit sort of loses momentum at this point, because I can't figure out how to tie in that orange plastic bottle, sticky to your fingers, with the fact that you have to strike a balance between trust and observation. You can easily let go of a broken trust by saying "fuck it, I'm on my own, people suck," thus giving up all expectations of other humans, for now, for a time, or forever-- but you'd be wrong in this, and selling yourself short on the human experience. You can also forgive anything and everything, but eventually that leads to you being taken advantage of by even those nearest and dearest-- which sort of defeats the purpose of letting anyone become near, let alone dear.

I suppose the best I can say here is this, and I hope it helps: listen to your heart. Rely on yourself, and smile when others back you up. You've been wronged-- what would make YOU feel better about it? You can confront a person who has wronged you without causing further trouble, but your heart is, regardless, going to desire an answer, a reason, a rationale for this behavior. Think about what would satisfy you, and make a plan. Again, in your shoes, I'd wait that time, try to find my calm and rational center, and compose my manner for approaching the person in question should he fail to take action within those twenty-four hours.


How a person behaves in the most trying times, is the true test of a person's character. While this may not console your disappointment in full, it at least gives you the time to reflect, and perhaps to consider of your own self: how do I behave in trying times? We've all failed, we've all spoken harshly when we didn't mean to, and we've all said things we wish hadn't (whether immediately or some time later). I always give the benefit of the doubt, but my compassion is pro-rated based on 1) how well I regard the person, 2) how long I've known them, and lastly 3) how regularly I'm going to have to deal with them.

I hope this helps, and if you need further advice, or want to discuss this further, you know how to reach me.

Always Listening,
Dr. Sunday