Contents of the Gentleman's Purse

Hey Doc,
So my girlfriend got me a little messenger bag for Christmas. She thinks I'm too messy with my stuff and wants me to get all organized and shit. I'm a little uncomfortable carrying a dude purse, but the word on the street is that you totally carry one so i'm thinking its probably not too bad right?
So Doctor Sunday, tell me! Should I carry a dude purse? What does a gentleman carry in his purse? and why?
--Fashion Shy in the NKY

Dear Fashion Shy,

The man-purse is an essential accessory. I actually have a few, for various reasons (size, travel, need-- all of these are factors), but my main bag is a thing of beauty. It is sleek, stylish, and contains many useful items which support and enhance the quality of my life on a regular basis. With my bag close at hand, I am prepared for any number of situations, always ready to assist, amuse, occupy, entertain, create, clean, or do business, as needed.

This is my bag. It's basic black, because that, quite frankly, is how The Doctor chooses to roll, as the kids might say. It's durable, and it's just the right size. Finding a good bag is important, but since you did not make the purchase yourself, let us just assume that your girlfriend knows better than you do how to shop for a bag. So, for the readers who may be considering such a purchase-- nothing at all wrong with asking your best girl for her two cents on the matter. I asked mine, and feel quite good about the outcome (see above).

So, then, what does a gentleman carry in his purse? And why? The contents themselves should explain the reasons. I can only speak for myself, but I carry the following items in my bag at all times: pocket knife, sewing kit, multi-tool, lighter, book of matches, an assortment of pens and highlighters, notebook, sketchpad, small journal, cologne, aftershave lotion, hand sanitizer, ibuprofen, some band-aids, antacids, caffeine pills, and a paperback novel.

The tools should speak for themselves-- a pocket knife and multi-tool, lighter and matches, and sewing kit are all basic essentials to prepare any man on the go for a wide range of needs (and seriously, if you're a guy who can't use a sewing kit, then you need to rethink your worth, because that is a crucial skill for anyone). The pens, highlighters, and various notebooks are creative essentials as well as highly practical things, as are the first aid products. Cologne and aftershave, again, these go without saying--smell good, it's important. The novel is for those moments when I have time to kill, usually while waiting on someone or something.

At times, I augment these needs. Often, I spend time on the road, in which case I might include my ipod (with headphones or speakers), my Nintendo DS (with an assortment of games), or various things I might need for overnight (basic toiletries), or for the weather, such as a hat or a pair of gloves.

It's also fair to mention that bizarre sundries may also make their way into my bag. I recently had a discussion with a friend regarding the strange appearance of some sealing wax (which I needed at the time) and a small package of sculpting clay (which I did not need, but was delighted to locate).

And of course, my makeup, because I'm handsome and sometimes refining the sexy a little bit can make all the difference. Appearance is important--substance AND style, kids, remember that.

See? All of these things are useful, necessary and vital-- and given thought, you can easily ascertain what might be best suited for your bag. Sure, some might ridicule, but you won't care-- you'll have ibuprofen for the headache, your ipod to distract you with music, and something to read, at the very least.

I hope this has helped you. If you need further advice, you know where to find me.

Always listening,
Dr. Sunday

Shorties, Anonymous, and Facebook: a collection of the brief.

*****Dear Readers-- what you are about to read is a list of random short questions asked of me, whether via anonymous emails (some nice, some fake, some douchey), or comments left on my facebook page. Thought I'd share, because, well, I want to, and this is MY blog. If you don't like it, you're probably not reading this anyway. So enjoy, friends. --The Doctor.*****

#1- Doctor: Itchy head.. Do I have lice? And if so, Will you pick them out? --T.

Dear T: Getting checked for lice is fun and easy-- those popsicle stick things they run through your hair kind of feel good on the scalp.
Lice-picking is a premium service, not included within the Dr. Sunday free project, but I could probably offer you a coupon or something. I'd also advise not wearing the other kids' hats. Love, Dr. Sunday

#2- Doctor Sunday: My question for you is... My boyfriend is turning 28 in August and I have no idea what to do for him. I know I want to do something very creative and adventurous but I'm running low on ideas. Any thoughts??? --M.

Dear M: Might I suggest, firstly, a surprise party, on a date at least one week prior to his birthday? I successfully caught my dear Claudia with a great surprise party by enlisting (without her knowledge) the help of a couple of her friends (whom she didn't know I had contact with; I used facebook and was VERY tricky). A surprise party ON the birthday would be too easily deduced.

Are we discussing a gift, an event, or a combination thereof? In my experience (as in, being a guy), I will tell you that nothing moves me more than an experience I can remember forever, or something I can hold onto and look back on repeatedly, whether it be a poem, a hand-made gift or hand-made card, or simply a letter on clever stationary. I'm the sentimental type, so a keepsake is a lot more meaningful to me than say, that video game I've been dying to play, which I'll play through once and then never again. I don't know if your man falls into that category, but that would certainly make your job easier.

Using your wits, you can guarantee the kind of birthday surprise for your boyfriend that he'll never forget.

Always listening,
Dr. Sunday

#3-- Doctor Sunday- Why are you such a homo? --Goat-Sodomizing Fuckbottle [identity edited by the editor because I fucking CAN]
Dear GSF,
It's 2009, why not? Dr. Sunday just loves people. Plus, you're really cute. Piss off, my dear Goat-Sodomizing Fuckbottle, and if you feel again like speaking to me, at least be funny. Keep reaching for that rainbow! --Dr. Sunday

#4-- Dr. Sunday, Where the hell did my pants go??????!@? --K.
Dear K.,
They are under my bed, in my box of keepsakes, because your love means so much to me that I can't imagine being able to part with them. I regret the necessity of sneaking up behind you with a chloroform soaked rag, just to steal your pants, but to be honest, after the roller coaster/whirlwind madness we shared, I simply didn't believe that you'd be willing to part with even such a simple keepsake.

Or maybe that was a joke. I'd advise looking through your laundry hamper aggressively, or looking under your bed. Normally, when I can't find an article of clothing, it has either been misfiled in my closet/dresser/etc, or buried somehow in my laundry, if not appropriated by my beloved cat as part of his fortress under my bed.
Hope this helps you.
Love,
Dr. Sunday

#5 Dr Sunday-- (*editor's note, spelling in this query has been corrected, and rather extensively at that): what is your problem with BC13? I read your post and you're just running your mouth like an asshole. no one asked you. --the dank knight
Dear "The Dank Knight,"
First off, yes, someone DID ask me. Secondly, you clearly didn't read the post thoroughly enough, but I'd blame that on the apparently severe level of cognitive disability you displayed so memorably across your email. Tell your mother or special needs provider that I told you to "write back when puberty hits, or functional literacy-- whichever comes first." Twat. Sincerely, Dr. Sunday.
PS- the "DANK KNIGHT?" seriously? dude. Wow.

*****And I'll close there. I've got more, but I'll save those for a future date. I'd once again like to remind you to feel free to ASK ME ANYTHING, and thank you, my dear readers, for making this blog such a fun and successful project.
Much love, and always listening,
Dr. Sunday*****

OMG shoes.

Dr. Sunday,

Simple one for you, I'm looking into a new pair of shoes; something classy yet able to be beaten on. I was first thinking those semi-boot shoes, well I think of them as such. Always shied away from them really. So I think more like a high top dress shoe. What is you thought on stylish shoes for men?

Fuddled over Fashion

Dear Fuddled,

This is indeed an easy question. Speaking strictly from a personal standpoint, my tastes in footwear for men are as much based on functional utility as they are on style. The ideal footwear in a man's closet should be as follows: Something casual, for daily wear, particularly outside of the office, but something that can be utilized in a multitude of circumstances (in my case, a pair of Diesel trainers, or my low-top Converse). Something "worn-in" or "get-dirty" appropriate is also key, typically something you've retired from daily, public use (I have a pair of Vans prison-issue velcro shoes, for running outside really quick; an elderly pair of Chucks, for when I know I'll get muddy/dirty/grass-stained/etc; and a beaten to hell and back pair of Vans low-top skate shoes, for when I know I'm going to get splattered in paint or things of that nature). A pair of boots is vital, as is something dressy-- of course, the clever and dapper young man can combine these two pieces in any number of ways to the greatest possible effect.

To give you an idea, and bear in mind, I receive absolutely no compensation for any products I mention by name, I own one pair of dress shoes. They are basic black loafers, of a brand I can't even name. I am pretty sure I inherited them from my dad when I had to go a dance in high school, or when someone died. I never wear them, because they are old man shoes-- and not in that fun and quirky vintage "old man" style, they're merely outmoded and pointless. When I need to have my feet dressier, I take the opportunity to make myself presentable while still maintaining my personal style.

I own two pairs of boots, which serve, variously, in the offices of dress footwear as well. They are stylish and functional, simple and utilitarian, yet they state by context that I am no mere office lackey or pencil-pushing d-bag. Pair of boots number one, of course, is my precious and well-loved Dr Martens. They're black, steel-toed, and rise well enough above the ankle that I could wear them without fear that I will be mistaken for the kind of person who voluntarily owns a hackey-sack, but also not so high that I might be mistaken for the kind of person who has questionable piercings in even more dubious locations on my body. They are simple, which is key, yet I keep them well-polished enough to wear under even basic slacks to the office, while still being able to wear them on the streets, under jeans, while presumably spoiling for some sort of fisticuffs, I don't know. They're perfect, and moreso, they came to me as a gift from my lady love, so I feel even better about wearing them.

The second pair of boots, I also utilize, even more regularly than the Docs, as dress footwear. These are a pair of basic black "engineer boots." No laces, just a chrome buckle off to the side. I've removed the brand tags so long ago that the name eludes me, but I've owned these boots for over a decade. They, too, are steel-toed, which I find useful on a number of levels, and typically earn me compliments as they are an unexpected yet flattering addition even to my more professional wardrobe. Of course, I've also regularly worn them onstage, as wicked and imposing accessories to my already sometimes sinister aspect. Frye makes a decent version of these in a more fashion-oriented context, though I acquired mine literally from a store specializing in work-footwear. They rise to just below midcalf, and absolutely kick ass.

While I don't suggest you copy my suggestions directly, I will state that the important message here is not to necessarily purchase as I have purchased, but rather to consider multi-functional utility, and to always remember, in building personal style, regardless of your venue, that true STYLE, whether for a man or woman, comes from making it YOUR OWN, rather than following some idea of what is fashionable or trendy. It's not about fitting in with your culture, subculture, or the magazines you read-- it's about being yourself, no matter what, and making sure the essence of who you are is represented in everything that you do, and indeed even to the shoes on your feet.

I hope this helps. Best of luck shopping.
Always Listening,
Dr. Sunday