Dear Dr. Sunday:
I am SO TIRED. I don't ever sleep enough, and the reason is twofold. One: I stay up late nearly every day. Two: I have to get up and go to work at a grown-up hour about five times a week.
Since quitting my job in order to sleep in is a terrible idea, I am asking for your thoughts on point #1. The reasons that I stay up vary: I might be watching a movie, working on a project, out with friends, talking to fascinating persons via IM, even idle internet surfing finds the clock passing 1am on a regular basis. Sometimes I stay up because I have a peculiar, unexplained aversion to falling asleep at that time. I got Ambien from my doctor, but I'm scared to take it and would prefer non-drug alternatives.
So what do I do? I read half of The Promise of Sleep so I know about sleep debt and REM cycles and circadian rhythms and all that, but I didn't quite get to the bit where it says what to do if you CAN'T, and since I could not bring myself to finish that book (unusual for me, which speaks to the book's annoyingness) I come to you for help.
- Sweet (Day)dreams
I love a challenge. Let me just say that for the record, as if my friends and readers were not already aware. I really, really, really love a challenge.
This is one of the hardest questions to answer. How do you get to sleep? How do you deal with a little insomnia? How do you get out of a routine of bad habits and late nights, and trade that in for a nice set of healthy sleep patterns? Tricky.
It's a new year. It's a great time to get right. So. Where do we begin?
I'm about to get detailed, so pay attention, friends!
Obviously, you've heard that alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, late meals/snacking, and all those sorts of wonderful diversions can impede your body's ability to enter standby mode at the appropriate times. So take it as given, then, that we have decided not to drink, snack, smoke, etc, in the later hours of the evening. We decide, instead, to start organizing basic factors in our lives, like meals and plans and projects. We make lists, and we stick to them. We plan carefully and we focus on sticking with our plans. We recognize that we may not always, for social, health, work reasons, whatever, be able to stick to these plans, but we do our best.
Now. Key among these steps, then, is setting a time to sleep. We pick a bedtime. We pick that and make it a target. We think on a practical level. Once you have chosen your time to sleep, cut off your activity one hour before the target. Shut off the computer. Turn off the lights in the workspace. Kill the television, bid your online pals "good night," and go lay down. Give yourself an hour to unwind with more limited activity.
"But Dr. Sunday, I'm not sleepy!" I know you're not. The above were just the practical and planning steps. Here's the good bit.
First off, choose the day that you will make this happen. You have written out your list, you have plotted and planned. You know what you want to do, and you have resolved to do it right. Now, you just need to teach your body to comply.
Let's say you have chosen Sunday (because it is the best day, and not just because they named it after me). Sunday is the day that you will go to bed at a reasonable time. You will wake up Monday ready for action, refreshed, bright, chipper, all that jazz.
Wake up early Sunday morning. I'm talking 7, 8 am. You're going to have breakfast. Not brunch-- breakfast. It doesn't matter what you did Saturday night. At all. In fact, it's better if you keep a healthy social schedule Saturday night. You want to wake up bleary and tired. You'll need that later.
Wake up, make breakfast. Exercise. You're going to start incorporating some exercise into your daily routine, and unless we're talking yoga, you're not saving it until late night. You're doing it in the mornings, when you're off, or when you get home from work, through the week (and if you're really good, try to do it in the mornings through the week, too, eventually). But this Sunday, this special chosen effective Sunday, you are going to do it before lunch. You are going to have a productive day that does not involve a nap. You are going to eat normal meals, and because you stayed up late Saturday, and forced yourself to wake up early Sunday, you will be tired come bedtime.
You are NOT, however, going to decide that it's a great night to doze off at nine or ten. No, you are going to do your best to make it something more reasonable. In your shoes, I'd target midnight. That means, distractions get shut off at eleven. You're going to reflect, unwind, for an hour. Personally, I like to read, or scribble in my little pocket journal/sketchbook/ideabook. It's relaxing, and I don't get too involved in too much (when I can help it, that is, as I'm easily distracted). This is how you are now going to spend your last hour of waking, from now on.
Monday morning, you wake up early. You don't sleep to the last minute, so that all you have time to do is shower, dress, and snag a bagel on your way out the door. You make breakfast, and you want to get to the place where you can breakfast, exercise, and shower in the mornings. Every morning, where possible. You're also going to do your best to dodge the common panacea that is coffee. If you like the taste, you're drinking decaf. If you're smart enough to realize that there's really no point in decaf, you'll have a juice, or a water. You're living healthy now, and this is your new world. Don't grumble, don't complain, don't cheat-- just do it.
Monday night falls, and you are not going to busy yourself or stay up late. You are going to be tired, but you will be better for it. You will stick to the same targeted bedtime as last night. You will stick to this routine for an entire week, and you will follow it again the next week, trying perhaps even to scale it back to 30-60 minutes earlier, if you can. You are a productive person who sleeps in a healthy fashion, so you don't feel like you have to fall into the traps of viewing the weekend as "OMG GOTS TA SLEEP IN." You are not a kid. You can do this, because you choose it.
This, my friend, will get you on the right path. Between these little changes and actually getting to sleep, you will see all sorts of surprising benefits.
And I bet you're wondering what to do if this doesn't work. Well, firstly, unless you have a more serious condition requiring the attention of a doctor who is NOT just some jackass on the internet who hands out advice with a cat sleeping in his lap, it will work. If you need more tips, here are some simple recommendations that my exhaustive research has brought forth:
--Warm milk (gross, i know, but there is science there)
--Meditation
--Deep breathing exercises (you have google, figure it out)
--Exercise early in the day
--Soft music, instrumental preferably
--Yoga
--Masturbation
--Listening to an audiobook in the dark
--The sound of a fan, the ocean, the forest, or white noise (depending on tastes)
There's science behind all of the above, so I recommend whatever seems most relaxing to you. Failing that, I can say in all sincerity that I've never seen the end of Disney's Fantasia. I greatly enjoy classical music, and I like the IDEA of Fantasia, but seriously, it sends me into a coma.
I hope this helps you. Sweet dreams!
Always listening,
Dr. Sunday
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