Monday, August 10, 2009

Three doozies.

Dr. Sunday,

is it better to be good at a lot of things, or great at just one thing?

is it better to make things happen, or to let things happen?

what happens when we die?

-Inquisitive in Illinois


Dear Inquisitive,

All excellent questions, and I appreciate the multi-level challenge.

Regarding Question 1: "is it better to be good at a lot of things, great at just one thing?" That depends on your perspective, but also on how willing you are to apply yourself to life. I'm "good" at a number of things, a "jack of all trades," if you will-- but that's mostly because I rely on natural ability rather than proper training or discipline. For example-- I'm a visual artist, but I never had the patience to learn techniques beyond what I gave myself, so I'm decent and can rely on quirkiness to make people smile, but I can throw a rock at my AIM buddy list and hit the screen names of at least three people I love and know personally, who would make me look like a paraplegic infant with a crayon.

By the same token, I'm a guitarist, but I've never taken a proper lesson (on that instrument, anyway). I rely on my willingness to experiment, and I get compliments for being "innovative" at the instrument, but in many, more technical respects, I'm about as big a joke as you can tell without needing to change your briefs. Could I get better at these things? Sure. Would I be willing to try harder? Only when my passion drives me that direction.

There are a lot of people in the world who walked face-first into their magic gift/talent/etc. These are people who knew their deepest passion, and followed it. Some of them work hard to achieve, and some achieve seemingly without effort-- but it's not about what it "costs," it's about what that says. You always have to follow your heart. I'd trade at least one pinky toe, possibly both, to achieve the elegant, lyrical virtuosity on the guitar of say, Slash (of Guns N Roses fame), but at this point in my life, I don't know that I'm willing (at least not right now, when my new music has little to do with that sort of thing) to take the kinds of training that would require, assuming I can ever get these fingers of mine to move so astutely.

The point is-- and you'll forgive me, I hope, for answering your question with a question, but what do YOU think? Therein lies your answer. Do know what you'd love to do most? Is there something in your life to which you would be willing to devote yourself? Bear in mind, many disciplines are related, and one skill-set by nature/aptitude may lead you to others you had not considered. The world is wide open for the mind willing to question itself.

Question 2: Is it better to make things happen, or let things happen?

EXCELLENT question. I think it depends on the circumstance. While normally, I can say that I believe in taking the reins of your own fate, and choosing the things you desire, I can just as easily point out that statements like THAT one are an oversimplification. I could say, tonight, "I need a new job, something, anything, more money to be the rad person I know myself to be." Now, I could just wait for Fate to kiss me in my sleep, and find that someone I know has a nice new gig out there for me, or I could take steps proactively to choose the career I desire.

Still, let's use that example to go further-- what if I realized that my best bet to get the job I wanted was to go through a very specific friend, someone I don't know that well, perhaps? So I ask this person, but I don't want to ask too often or press too hard, because I don't want to alienate them. Now, I send my suggestion, a phone call, an email, what have you-- and then I wait, because it's the best thing to do. I could make a move, but I risk losing the ground I've gained, and perhaps closing the door for good. Or, I can play it cool, be a pal, and just let it happen as it happens, while hoping for the best. It's a dodgy balance.

The same rules work in romance, if you think about it, and in many other pieces of life. Sometimes, "to let things happen" IS "to make things happen." My advice here, then, is to keep your eyes open and your mind sharp-- have the motive power to act when you must, but have the maturity and wisdom to simply abide, or "let things happen," when the course requires it. Just know yourself, and know your world. You won't fail.

And to your last question: what happens when we die?

Well, according to the tea leaves I just finished reading, and the auguries provided by my cat purring while the candleflame dances in the breeze from my window, there are a few possibilities.

The tea leaves state that there is an afterlife, but it is based on your own beliefs. The universe is a blank canvas, on the other side, so as you believe, so shall you be.

[Reliable and delphic, my cat ponders...]


The cat's purring states that if a soul has a quantifiable existence, then it must endure, and while science has yet to reach the point where it can make a claim on the matter, the fact of existence serves as proof in its own right.

The candleflame says you either turn to dust, go to Heaven or Hell, or we all wind up on the Big Rock Candy Mountain, whatever that means.

Still, it was a very good question. Since I've only died like twice, I usually miss the floor show while I try to find a table near the stage. I can tell you that the drinks are good, but the shrimp is hit-or-miss.

I hope this has helped you. If you have any further questions, you know where to reach me.

Always Listening,
Dr. Sunday

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